In the middle of the month I’m ravenous, at either end I hate to say I’m
My body is aggressively telling me many people need to pass through me, as if
I’m a helical chute in a playground.
It’s not my fault what happens when they come out the other end.
When the moon wanes, asleep, I prepare for my middle-of-the-dark-woods
waking dreams, stranger by far than my seashore walks.
For example, my uterus shows through my outer form—cone-shaped, I lie like
malt on a barn floor poured in a heap from a hopper.
And I am assigned a heroic task: turn the boys in the room into honey
It’s winter, snow covers my flowers, hot as asphalt in summer.
I’ve found my way back to nature, to where I was born, where I was meant
to be, where I can breathe, where glistening transparent pearls on
microscopic stalks extend from hundreds of open throats, where when you
want and want, instead of yellow cabs, it’s hummingbirds you fail to find.
I’m braiding my husband’s DNA, his flexible fingers, tongue, tentacles, etc.,
while he braids mine, an infinite repetition of intertwining actions in
the floating-world mirror.
Rain on the roof rattles off endless algorithms for generating happiness.
In the gutter I find a long-ago ball I threw (blue with red ladybugs) and throw it
harder—deep into a no-longer loved Rilke poem. I’m dressed in petticoats,
and my erection is irritated by layers of stiff French lace.
My individuality is absorbed into the anonymity of organic detritus falling
from the upper, sunlit layers to the lower, darker—a blizzard of aggregates
of smaller particles held together by a sugary mucus forming one colossal
column in the abyssal dark.
Slowly I become my own octopus-husband.
There’s a margin where ocean-consciousness is divided from dry land.
Monthly, my status as creation-pinnacle is burnished by Darwin’s thesis that
humans evolved from lower life forms.
I’m listening to something lower than the lowest human register.